I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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