This is not my ceiling
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
