i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
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He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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