I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
