Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
