It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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