Pants 0. Shit 1.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
