If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
