How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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