I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We have started to decorate penises.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
