Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Shame - the story of my life.
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