He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
