Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
