I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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