I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
