Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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