I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
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He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
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Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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