the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
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Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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