EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
