I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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