Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
