It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there was a trapeze. enough said
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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