i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
