He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
