my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
