There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
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