we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
