wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
