Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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