I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
