these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
