I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
