There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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