last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
