There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
