What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
