She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
