I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
