I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
