We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She told me I should be a condom model.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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