Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize