I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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