I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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