I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
