I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
