Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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