yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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