My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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