bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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