I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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