Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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