guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
