She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
