I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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