Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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