@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
