Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
this will be a night to untag.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
