so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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