Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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