So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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