She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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