The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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