fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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