just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
