carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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