I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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