Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
