Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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